By Dr. Ken Broda Bahm:
Twas the night before trial, when all through the office,
No settlement was stirring, so the war room was raucous;
The filings were all filed with the court clerk with care,
In hopes that the judge would finally be fair.
Trial counsel then nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of summary judgment danced in their heads.
When from the alarm clock there arose such a clatter,
Lawyers bounded from beds with notes in a scatter.
Away to the courthouse, they fly like a flash.
To see the venire, and strike off the trash.
The favorable look of the newly-seated jury,
Fills the other side with feelings of fury.
So it’s on to our openings, great themes and tight stories,
We exceeded the bad guys in all categories.
“Call your first witness,” the court said directly,
And thanks to great prep, he actually answered correctly.
Then to cross, they treated like some kind of game,
So we thought of objections, and called them by name:
Now form! Now, foundation! Now improper pleading!
On hearsay, on compound, speculation, even leading!
Covering every objection, we threw them all at the wall,
Her honor sustained, sustained, sustained them all!
Our case came in smoothly. Theirs, it was lacking.
The worst of their claims, entirely without backing.
Their pitch, so pathetic. Their greed, quite astounding.
We were poised for a victory, complete and resounding.
With the cases all closed, it’s turned over to the jury,
As they heard the instructions, their eyes went all blurry.
Then they said not a word, but went straight to their work,
Closing the jury-room door with a jerk.
The wait, it was endless. The possibilities, terrifying.
With each minute passing, part of you is dying.
Then the announcement, “The jury’s returned.”
We really should win, I hope we’re not burned.
The form it was laid on the bench with care,
“Just read it,” we pleaded, “We’re losing our hair.”
The verdict? Yes! In our favor!
And this is one that the whole firm will savor.
So you could hear us exclaim, as we left with spirits bright.
Happy trials to all, and to all a good night!
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Other Posts on Christmas:
- Make It Vivid
- Watch Out For Scrooge
- You’d Better Be Good (But If Not, Presenting the Naughty With the Nice Makes For a More Credible Trial Story)
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Image credit: 123rf.com, used under license, edited.