By Dr. Ken Broda Bahm:
I’ve got to say it: I think I have the best readers in the whole litigation-blogging space. You’re thoughtful, committed, and willing to reach out to me with feedback and ideas for new posts. Honestly, I don’t think I could ask for a more intelligent and engaged group. And now, dear readers, that I’ve complimented you, you’re primed to respond favorably to my next attempt to influence you. That, at least, is what the research says. Several studies (i.e. see Grant, Fabrigar, Lim 2010; and Grant et al., 2021) support the intuition that compliments work in paving the way toward influence. Not only does a compliment increase the tendency to like and value the source of that compliment, but it also plays to one of the most reliable social motivators: reciprocity. The tendency to favor those who have favored us is actually the main contributor to the influence of compliments.
Of course, maybe my introduction still doesn’t work, because you can’t be too heavy-handed about it. Like many good techniques, the value lies in subtlety. If your target knows or suspects that the compliments are only there for influence, then it is insincere. An insincere compliment just signals the intention, “I think you could be influenced by an easy trick,” that that second persona in fact, reveals the opposite of a compliment. Still, where you are sincere (as I am in the first paragraph, really!) then a credible and relevant compliment can be part of an effective persuasive style. In the courtroom, it won’t likely be fitting to lavish obvious praise on everyone, but the more subtle arts of ingratiation are still available. In this post, I’ll share four practical targets for your compliments.
Compliment Your Jury
This is, of course, a fairly common part of introducing yourself to a jury and hopefully gaining their trust. My experience is that most litigators really mean it. But beyond just thanking the jury at the beginning, it is also a good idea to occasionally use terms that show that you are seeing them in a light that compliments them for their service, their attention, and their intelligence:
- Throughout this trial, we have noticed the way that you all are absorbing everything.
- I think you noticed the inconsistency in that expert’s testimony.
- The details may have been a little dry, but I would wager that you understood all of it, and you get why it is important.
Of course, you should still explain — don’t take their understanding or focus for granted. But when you do see it, note it. Make sure they understand your appreciation and respect for them.
Compliment Your Adverse Witness
When you are cross-examining a witness on the other side, they’re wary of you for good reason. After all, you are trying to reduce their credibility and the influence of their testimony. That said, chances are that not everything the witness said is false. On some points, it might be both accurate and harmless to note that they explained something well. Or it could be evident that the witness has shown courage, conviction, or another admirable trait in simply deciding to testify.
- I think I speak for everyone here in saying that your explanation was very clear and easy to follow.
- The fact that you used examples and simple language really helped, I appreciate it.
- We know that it isn’t easy for you to sit up here and relive that experience. It shows great character that you’ve done so well in getting through it.
You shouldn’t feel the need to build up a witness who really did not do well, at least not when that witness is on the other side. But when there are aspects and moments that are likely to be noticed and appreciated by jurors, then you may help your own credibility, and potentially disarm the witness, by noting it.
Compliment Your Opposition
In trial, you want to be cordial to your opposing parties and counsel, not necessarily complimentary. But in the long lead-up to trial, particularly the negotiations phase where so many cases are actually decided, a sincere compliment here or there can be useful. When you are able to honestly admit the parts of their case that are strong, that gives you more credibility when talking about the parts that are weak. When they have pressed a point effectively, then appreciating that can help you to pivot toward a more obvious gap in their story or proof. Yes, you are adversaries, but there are also moments for recognizing that you are also just humans engaged in the common objective of resolving a dispute.
Compliment Your Team
Finally, there is your team: The co-counsel, witnesses, paralegals, technology operators, clerks and administrative assistants who help you to work as a seamless whole. Longtime litigators have learned that, particularly during times of high-pressure and stress, an honest compliment can go quite a long way in making members of your team willing and enthusiastic in making these sacrifices. The more often you can offer, “You’re doing a great job” without adding,”…and I need you to work late tonight” after that, the more successful you’ll be when you do need to add that last clause.
Fundamentally, a lesson for the persuader is that communication is not just built on content, it is built on relationships. Candidly and credibly pointing out where we notice and value that relationship, by offering honest compliments, is a good way to ease the way for influence.
Thanks for reading. I am a litigation consultant (bio here) specializing in mock trial research, witness preparation, jury selection, and case strategy, generally (but not always) in high-value civil cases. If you have a comment, a request for a future topic, or a concern about a current area of litigation, or a question about your own case, contact me now.
Other Posts on Persuasive Influence
- Look Out for Group Influence in the Witness Pool
- Speak to Familiarity: Jurors Know What They Like, and Like What They Know
- Trust the Norming Effect of Deliberations
Grant, N. K., Fabrigar, L. R., & Lim, H. (2010). Exploring the efficacy of compliments as a tactic for securing compliance. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 32(3), 226-233.
Grant, N. K., Krieger, L. R., Nemirov, H., Fabrigar, L. R., & Norris, M. E. (2021). I’ll scratch your back if you give me a compliment: Exploring psychological mechanisms underlying compliments’ effects on compliance. British Journal of Social Psychology.